being selfish

Today, my bf going out with his colleagues. I feel so worried and dislike, but i hv to act that i dun mind and let him go ahead. All the while, i been so worried him that he will hv no frens to accompany him and share moments with him. But now, when i heard he told me that he went out with his frens, i feel so uncomfortable in my heart. I wanted to call him, but i din do so, cause i know if i want to stop relationship with him. Hence i hv to learn to let go now....
Last time, i been gossiped abt my gfren said that she was too safe in her bf point of view, cause my gfren bring so "obedient". Tat time, i din think on behalf of ppl feelings, and now, i can feel the revenge. All the while, my bf always stick with me, and most of the time, he will only spent time on me; on the contrary, i always planned and enjoy with my frens and buddies. I will nv worried that he will simply go somewhere and he will nv know "someone" which make me feel so safe and secure. Too bad that he is now going out with his colleagues, and i feel panic and insecure. It is called a revenge on me? Last time, i been gossiping abt my gfren, laugh at her that she being so naive and now, i feel the hit by the feelings.
This is a lesson for me that being so selfish all the time and gossiping abt ppl w/o putting ppl feeling in my shoes. My gossiping doesn't show that i'm mature or clever; on contrary, ppl only will laugh at you being so stupidity and mean. I feel so silly to myself now....